Car cracker

car cracker

You are fighting a car cracker.

This guy isn't really a carjacker because he only takes cars when people aren't in them. And while car hacker might apply the car modding community insists hacker is supposed to be a good term, and "car cracker" is the acceptable pejorative for a modern-day car thief.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• He lights a road flare and tosses it at you. Magnesium'd! (fire) damage
• He cracks you like a car, although thankfully not with a car.
• He tees up and hits you with a tire iron.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• He lights a road flare, but you remind him the minimum is actually fifteen. He grumbles and goes to look for some more.
• He tries to crack you, but you've been keeping everything up to date.
• He takes a swing at you with a tire iron, but you dodge straight into the sand trap. Wait? What game are we playing again?

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 8-13 chips.

You gain 5 experience.

You got an item: spark plug (20.8 ± 1.2%)
You got an item: road flare (24.6 ± 1.3%)

Known resistances/weaknesses

100% weak to sonic damage.

Locations

• Your neighborhood
  

References

• The description refers to the "Hacker" subculture, and the way members of the computer "Hacker" community differentiate themselves from computer "crackers".
• The first miss message refers to a restaurant manager in the movie Office Space who required his employees to wear a specified amount of "flair".
• The third hit and miss messages refer to metal golf clubs, which are called "irons".