Firebird College at Philbin
| Firebird College at Philbin | |
| |
| Location: | Out in the Desert |
|---|---|
| Unlocks: | after the level 9 quest |
Far outside of Twilight lies the little town of Philbin, nearly lost in the desert. Their one claim to fame is a booming distance-learning program, supported by a single physical office building that offers a few classes to the locals. Their cutsey logo features a vaguely familiar phoenix delivering a diploma.
You look over the college's course catalog. Nothing really interests you, but your understudy, always ready to learn, seems curious about the offerings.
- After all classes have been taken:
Your understudy has already learned all of the classes that the college has to offer.
- Otherwise:
| Class | Price | Description | Cap | |
| Business | ||||
| Flea Market Smarts | 2000 chips | Items Gain | Level 10 | |
| Creative Arts | ||||
| Documentary Arts | 2000 chips | XP Gain | Level 10 | |
| Mimicry | 1000 chips | Increases Foe Level | Level 10 | |
| Physical Arts | ||||
| Self Defense | 500 chips | Attacks | Level 10 | |
| Karate | 1000 chips | Attacks | Level 20 | |
| Jujitsu | 1000 chips | Blocks | Level 10 | |
| Massage Therapy | 1000 chips | Restores HP and PP | Level 10 | |
| Yes, That's My Final Answer |
Messages
- Flea Market Smarts:
It turns out that flea market smarts mostly requires having several large volumes of different types of items and their market value. Large volumes written and self-published by the instructor of the class, funny enough. Still, your sidekick ought to have a good eye for valuables, as long as they keep the books around.
- Documentary Arts:
Most of the cost of this class comes from needing to buy the equipment: camera, film, lots of batteries. The class itself boils down to "record a lot of stuff and watch the highlights."
- Mimicry :
After just a few short classes your understudy is such an accomplished mimic they've got you saying "Stop doing that! I don't act like that!" at a fifth-degree level of annoyance.
- Self Defense:
Your sidekick studies self defense for a while. Turns out most of the trick is putting your pointy bits (knees, elbows, and the like) into their tender bits (groins, eyes, and the like).
- Karate:
Your understudy picks up the karate lessons quickly. Class graduation involves catching a fly with chopsticks, after which the instructor says there is no more to learn.
- Jujitsu:
All your understudy says after the last session is, "Whoah, I know kung fu." It's not technically accurate, but who's going to argue with a jujitsu expert?
- Massage Therapy:
Your understudy learns to do things with elbows and fingertips that can tenderize even your heroic muscles.
- Selecting no class:
You seem to be trying to buy a skill that you already have.
- During the Cat and Mick-y Mouse Game quest:
Your kidnapped sidekick isn't available to sit in a classroom right now. The whole being kidnapped thing, you know.
References
- "Philbin" is a reference to Regis Philbin, making this a reference to Regis University.
- "Yes That's My Final Answer" is a reference to Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, which Regis Philbin hosted.
- Since Phoenix is also known as the firebird, "Firebird College" can also be a reference to the University of Phoenix, which has a distance learning program with a significant net presence.
- "catching a fly with chopsticks" refers to a scene from The Karate Kid.
- "I know kung fu" is most likely a quote from The Matrix.
