Office hoplite

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Office-hoplite.gif
office hoplite

You are fighting an office hoplite.

An ancient warrior from corporate antiquity, the office hoplite fights side-by-side with his fellow hoplites in a tightly-knit phalanx formation. I'd tell you more, but it's all Greek to me.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

  • You're momentarily blinded by the light reflecting off Leon Idas's abs and the hoplite takes advantage of the momentary distraction to stab you.
  • The hoplite runs at you in slow motion. You avoid him easily, but it turns out it was a clever ruse for the hoplite behind him to stab you with his spear.
  • The hoplite stabs you with his sword. Hey, sometimes you've gotta go with the classics.



He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.



Miss messages:

  • The hoplite swings at you, but is momentarily blinded by the light reflecting off Leon Idas's abs.
  • The hoplite runs at you in slow motion. You step aside.
  • The hoplite tries to stab you with his beard. Who does he think he is, a barbazu?



Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.


Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!


Chips-white.gif You gain 70-175 chips.

You gain 123 experience.

You got an item: hoplon Hoplon.gif (19.7 ± 3.4%)
You got an item: hoplite sword Hoplite-sword.gif (12.2 ± 2.8%)






With at least 2 Madness:

The next hoplite in line steps back. "I don't care what that guy said, you're totally Spartan."

Known resistances/weaknesses

Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.


Locations

Notes

References

  • Based on hoplite. The hit and miss messages refer to the depiction of Spartan hoplites in the movie 300.
  • "It's all Greek to me" is a reference to a line from William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar.
  • The third miss message refers to the barbazu, a type of devil in Dungeons & Dragons which can attack with its beard.