Category:Ranged Energy Weapons

Ranged Energy Weapons use the following messages:

Hit Messages

• pew pew pew. Pew (xN). Pew pew. You annoy the heck out of your opponent for X damage.

• pew pew pew. You annoy the heck out of your opponent for X damage.

• after taking careful aim, you blast away at your opponent N times, lazing for X damage.

• after taking careful aim, you blast your opponent, lazing for X damage.

• you fire N times, raining white hot plasma down on your opponent, frying them for X damage.

• you fire, raining white hot plasma down on your opponent, frying them for X damage.

• particles of pure energy stream from your <weapon>, tearing into your opponent N times for X damage.

• particles of pure energy stream from your <weapon>, tearing into your opponent for X damage.

• N gobs of quark lance out from your <weapon>, frying your opponent for X damage.

• a gob of quark lances out from your <weapon>, frying your opponent for X damage.

Miss Messages

• you fire, but you end up bouncing a graviton particle beam off the main reflector dish. I don't understand either, but you aren't hurting your foe, that's for sure.
• absolutely nothing happens when you pull the trigger. Did you forget to install that Tosche power converter?
• futuristic weapons are just so finicky. You must have gotten dust in the Jefferies tubing or something. Don't ask for specifics, just know that you missed.
• your negative interphase targeting auxiliary processor overbuffers the omni-transference negative-flow comptroller in the ancillary sublimator, and... you know what? Let's just say you miss. It'll be easier for both of us.
• the polarity of your neutron flow gets all messed up and your <weapon> misfires.

Fumble Message

Fumble! Clearly you should have spent more time learning how to use this high-tech weapon. You misaligned the power pack and overloaded your <weapon>. It doesn't explode, but it certainly tries, blasting you for X damage.

Critical Hit Message

• I would tell you to learn how to properly charge your <weapon>, but this time it overloaded to your benefit. You blast your opponent to oblivion and back N times for X overamped damage.

Notes

• The critical hit message is the same for single hits. In such a case N is 1.

References

• "Tosche power converter" refers to Tosche Station on Tatooine, which sells power converters.
• "bouncing a graviton particle beam off the main reflector" refers to the song The U.S.S. Make Shit Up by the artist Voltaire.
• Jefferies tubes, in the Star Trek fictional universe, are small tunnels or corridors that provide access to critical starship systems.
• The fourth miss message is an example of Technobabble.
• "Reversing the polarity" of a neutron flow, mentioned in the fifth miss message, is a phrase mostly associated with Doctor Who.