Cat burglar

cat burglar

You are fighting a cat burglar.

You catch a cat burglar in the act of burglarizing a cat. Uh, I mean a business. She hisses and comes at you with claws extended. Metaphorical claws, that is.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

She plays cat and mouse with you. The game ends when she pounces on you and sinks her teeth into your flesh.
The cat burglar reaches into a sack and pulls out a cat that she must have just burgled. She hurls the frightened cat at you, and it hits you in the face.
She waits calmly until you let your guard down, then fiercely attacks your feet.

She hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! She hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

She plays cat and mouse with you, but you quickly claim "cat!" and as the mouse she has to scamper away.
You distract her by pouring some milk in a saucer.
The cat burglar hisses and bares her fangs. You growl in return, and it turns into a five-minute standoff where you both make a lot of noise but don't really do anything.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! She takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 53-88 chips.

You gain 49 experience.

You got an item: metaphoric claws (15 ± 2.6%)
You got an item: pocket van de graf generator (11.2 ± 2.3%)
You got an item: trylon strap (9.5 ± 2.2%)
You got an item: pulse rifle (18.5 ± 2.9%)