Computer pharmacist
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Computer pharmacist
Your sidekick has learned the secrets of computer pharmacy, including both types of pills and the thing where people spontaneously generate electricity.
Level cap: 20
How Obtained
Full-time sidekick.
Obtained from: electropharmacological encyclopedia
Behavior
Ability: +XP per turn, attacks, and drops items
Messages
During combat, every turn one of the following:
- <name> gets in front of your opponent and dodges very slowly. It's pretty cool looking, but doesn't seem likely to hurt anyway.
- <name> teaches your opponent X damage worth of kung fu.
- <name> fires a bolt of lighting at your opponent X (electric) damage. You assume it's static from working on too many computers, but <name> assures you that's just how humans work.
At the end of encounters:
- <name> offers you a pill to make you larger and a pill to make you small. Turns out you misheard and it just makes you smart. You gain X XP.
- <name> backs up some data from your computer. You gain X XP. I mentioned the part where it's backing up to your brain, right? Good, I'd hate to think I'd missed that.
- <name> offers you a pill to make you larger and a pill to make you small. Turns out only your brain grows, so your kaiju dreams will have to wait for another day. You gain X XP.
At the end of encounters, sometimes:
- In the process, you also learn a few tricks for decrypting software. You should be able to shave off a few minutes.
- <name> has something left over after feeding your head. Rather than letting it go to waste, you add it to your ever-growing inventory.
You got an item: 0000ff pill 
or
You got an item: ff0000 pill 
or
You got an item: vestigial payphone 
References
- The sidekick image is of Laurence Fishburne in his role as Morpheus in The Matrix. The description and combat messages also refer to Morpheus.
- The messages about two pills and feeding your head refer to the song "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane.
- All kids want to be kaiju when they grow up.