Gonzo accountant
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You are fighting a gonzo accountant.
Gonzo accounting is a strange method of accounting whereby the accountant in question gets deeply involved in the work, managing to insert themselves into the work being done. Either that or the accountant is just freaking nuts. Probably the latter.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- He pops several pills and introduces you to the concept of accountant raaaaaaaaaaage! Primarily by poking you in the eye with his cigarette. (fire) damage
- He peels out on his Vincent Black Shadow and runs you down.
- He screams and claims that you're a lizard drinking all his booze and bludgeons you about the head and shoulders.
He hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- He pops several pills in preparation to attack, but he grabbed his downers by mistake.
- He starts babbling about how he can't stop to fight you because "this is bat country."
- He whips out a bottle of ether and takes a deep huff. It's not really an effective "attack".
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 94-155 chips.
You gain 125 experience.
You got an item: swingline stapler 
(19.9 ± 3%)
Known resistances/weaknesses
Immune to acid damage.
50% weak to ice damage.
Locations
References
- The second hit message mentions Vincent Black Shadow, a motorcycle model.
- The enemy's description and combat messages contain numerous references to Hunter S. Thompson, famed for his Gonzo journalism and his