Ironic bot
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| ironic bot |
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You are fighting an ironic bot.
This is a robot that was supposed to be delivered to a dry-cleaning business. Unfortunately, it was programmed by someone who mis-translated "ironer" as "ironic." As nobody really understands irony, this is one confused bot.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- "I'm gonna iron you!" it shouts in a strangely high-pitched and childish voice. Then it does. damage+ (fire) damage
- The bot irons you, and then irons you some more. Isn't that a little too ironic, don't you think? Yes, I really do think. damage+ (fire) damage
- It squishes you with a fabric press, but it's only rated for light pressure and doesn't hurt. When it releases, though, a metal corner catches and cuts you badly. Figures, huh?
It hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- It presses you with one of its irons, but it turns out to be a cold iron. All it does is smooth out your clothes a little.
- It searches its internal drawers for a knife to stab you with, but all it finds is spoon after spoon after spoon.
- It blasts you with a bunch of scalding steam, but the steam cools before it actually reaches you. The humidity makes your hair go limp--doesn't that figure?
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 25-42 chips.
You gain 33 experience.
You got an item: data plate 
(22.4 ± 1.9%)
You got an item: mangled data plate (8.5 ± 2%)
You got an item: electronic cabling 
(15.2 ± 1.6%)
You got an item: Inactive strobe drone 
(13 ± 1.5%)
Known resistances/weaknesses
100% weak to sonic damage.
Locations
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This enemy is a robot with an electronic brain. |
References
- The second and third hit and miss messages all allude to the song Ironic by Alanis Morissette which include the lines "Isn't it ironic ... don't you think?" and "...it figures"