Maleroom clerk
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You are fighting a maleroom clerk.
This is a weird building. You're not exactly sure what a maleroom is, or why it needs a clerk, but there's one standing right in front of you, ready to start a fight.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- He opens up his can of Manly Man Energy Drink and throws it in your face. What's in that stuff? It burns! (acid) damage
- He rips open his shirt to show off his manly pecs. Sadly, his body isn't by Jake; it's by cake. (psychic) damage
- He throws his head back and lets out a testosterone-fueled bellow. Cripes, he's loud. (sonic) damage
He hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- He digs around for a can of Manly Man Energy Drink, but all he finds is a pocket protector.
- He tries to rip open his shirt to show off his manly pecs, but he just sorta spins around uselessly.
- He throws his head back and lets out a testosterone-fueled bellow. It sounds more like a nasally whine.
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 87-143 chips.
You gain 115 experience.
You got an item: Manly Man energy drink 
(13.9 ± 2.6%)
You got an item: taped glasses 
(16.7 ± 2.8%)
You got an item: paper cut gloves 
(15.1 ± 2.7%)
Known resistances/weaknesses
Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.
Locations
References
- The second hit message references "Body by Jake" fitness products marketed by Jake Steinfeld.