Office frontiersman

office frontiersman

You are fighting an office frontiersman.

It takes a strong, independent, rough kind of person to venture into the wild frontiers along the fringes of the corporate wilderness. The kind of person who's almost always spoiling for a fight.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

He is an expert at hunting and gathering in the office. At the moment, for example, he's doing a pretty good job of hunting you.
He shoots you with his genuine frontier hunting rifle. The genuine frontier ammunition is as loud as it is painful. damage+ (sonic) damage
He builds a fire from discarded office supplies, charring you in the process. damage+ (fire) damage

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

He is an expert at hunting and gathering in the office. For example, did you know that anything in the fridge for more than two weeks is fair game? He's full of down-to-earth wisdom like that.
He tries to shoot you with his genuine frontier hunting rifle, but it turns out his genuine frontier ammunition has been expired for about a hundred years.
He tries to build a fire from discarded office supplies, but finds out too late he'd gathered non-flammable lighter fluid.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 85-189 chips.