Paralegal paramour
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| paralegal paramour |
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You are fighting a paralegal paramour.
Every lawyer show on television has one of these, and it seems they exist in reality, too. She's the eager-to-please paralegal who is always flustered, largely incompetent, but involved with one of the senior partners.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- She bumps into you carrying an armful of files, dropping them all on your feet.
- She starts apologizing. And keeps apologizing. And keeps apologizing. She won't shut up! (sonic) damage
- She looks behind her as someone calls her name and she crashes into you, knocking you over.
She hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! She hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- She bumps into you carrying an armful of files, but they scatter all over the place.
- She starts apologizing but you clap your hand over her mouth and yell at her to shut up.
- She looks behind her as someone calls her name and she almost crashes into you, but you sidestep her.
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! She takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 93-154 chips.
You gain 123 experience.
You got an item: dainty glasses 
(15.7 ± 2.7%)
You got an item: relaxing flats 
(14.2 ± 2.6%)
You got an item: box of files 
(14 ± 2.6%)
You got an item: alluring business suit 
(14.7 ± 2.6%)
Known resistances/weaknesses
Immune to fire damage.
50% weak to psychic damage.