Ultimate security guard

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ultimate security guard

You are fighting an ultimate security guard.

This is your run-of-the-mill machine-gun-toting anti-terrorism-trained security-type guard. Which is to say he's practically a soldier rather than security, and far more deadly than any guard you've seen to date.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

  • He fires a barrage of bullets at you. You try to limbo under them, but it turns out your limbo is slower than a speeding bullet.
  • He sprays wildly with his machine gun. Hundreds of bullets ricochet around your corner of the room. You're good enough to dodge almost all of them.
  • He clubs you with his billy club and then sends you a bill for the damages you suffered. That takes some serious chutzpah, but he's got nerve to spare.



He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.



Miss messages:

  • He fires a barrage of bullets at you, but you limbo under them like it's the 2980 Olympics.
  • He sprays wildly with his machine gun. Hundreds of bullets ricochet around your corner of the room, but you use your own weapon to block or deflect every bullet that comes anywhere near you.
  • He bills you with his clubby bill and then sends you a club for ... wait, that's not right.



Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.


Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!


You gain 114-186 chips.

You gain 115 experience.







After defeating the 4th guard:

The entryway is now a complete mess. Broken granite lies strewn on the floor, unconscious guards sprawled out on top. Pillars have been shredded and chipped down to their underlying concrete. Bullet holes cover the walls, floor, and ceiling. Dusting yourself off, you stride through the mess and step into the hallway beyond the lobby. The last thing you see as the door shuts behind you is a loose piece of granite breaking off one of the smashed pillars and shattering on the floor.

Known resistances/weaknesses

Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.


Locations


Notes

References

  • The first hit message refers to Superman, who is "faster than a speeding bullet".
  • The first miss message refers to Hermes Conrad's Olympic limbo performance in the Futurama episode "A Flight to Remember".
  • The message upon defeating the last guard refers to the movie The Matrix.