Casino security guard

casino security guard

You are fighting a casino security guard.

This is a casino security guard. Sadly, he appears to be much more competent than the bumbling security guards you see on TV.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• The guard gives you the short end of the stick. As usual, it's upsetting enough that you want to go home and write about it in your blog.
• He thwacks you with his club. Twice. Hey, that's not funny at all!
• In the midst of your fight you accidentally spill his coffee. Not only does he take away your driver's license, but he smacks you around a good bit, too.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• He swings his club at you, but it's a short stick and just barely misses you.
• This particular security guard is one of those "gaudy recruits" who looks flashy but, like a "rusty car guide," still has a thing or two to learn. You teach him a couple of those things, "ye drastic guru" by dodging all his attacks.
• He drops his baton and has to scramble backwards because he has nothing with which to hit you. I mean, to hit you with.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 30-50 chips.

You gain 40 experience.

You got an item: cup of coffee (38.9 ± 4%)
You got an item: short end of the stick (14.9 ± 2.9%)
You got an item: Snackers candy bar (28.7 ± 3.7%)

Known resistances/weaknesses

50% resistant to psychic damage.
100% weak to sonic damage.

Locations

• Golden Wooden Nickel Casino
  

References

• The quoted portions in the second miss message are anagrams for "security guard."