Difference between revisions of "Doctor Sword"

Latest revision as of 19:18, 1 July 2016

Doctor Sword
Plural: Doctors Sword
That weird little elf with the Fitzgeraldy name had a pretty sweet sword that did some post-graduate study, but don't confuse it with this one. This sword didn't go through eight years of Monster Slaying School to be called "mister". Anyway, like any good sword, this one comes with a musical soundtrack. What? Your other swords don't? Well, perhaps you should talk to someone about that.

June 2016 Item of the Month

Melee weapon (Slashing, large)
Power: 10
Item cannot be auto-sold
Item cannot be pulled while in a retcon run

+X offense (+10/level, max: +100).
+10% of weapon damage returned as HP
+10% chance of critical hits.**
Has the best soundtrack

** Fumble and critical hit values are capped at +/- 20%.

The Wok of Stars

• Available for 10 silver stars during June 2016.

Effects

• Sometimes, before a normal attack:

• Doctor Sword glows with power and tears into your opponent...

• Sometimes, before combat:

• If there's one thing Twilight has enough of, it's crates filled with contraband. And since they're smuggled, you don't have to feel bad smashing them and taking the chips that fall out! Doctor Sword cues up the traditional Twilight Crate-Smashing Song.

You gain an effect: Crate-Smashing Dance (Added for 30 minutes.)

or:

• Doctor Sword starts playing a tune to get you pumped, but gets stuck on the "accelerando" and just never stops, until the fight is blurring by before your eyes.

You gain an effect: Overclocked Tango (Added for 30 minutes.)

or:

• Doctor Sword doesn't begin a tune, so much as continue a tune that stretches from before the beginning of time to after that last restaurant closes its doors.

You gain an effect: Unending Song (Added for 30 minutes.)

or:

• Da da da daaaaaaa! It's a catchy tune, but Doctor Sword keeps playing it every time you pick something up.

You gain an effect: Sesame Sauce Jingle (Added for 30 minutes.)

or:

• A light rain begins falling on the battlefield as Doctor Sword picks up a stormy piece. Or did it start raining because of the music? Probably that... Twilight isn't really known for sudden sprinkles.

You gain an effect: Dark and Stormy Nocturne (Added for 30 minutes.)

Notes

• When bought: You pick up the Doctor Sword and consider woking out of the store without giving the shopkeeper his 10 silver stars, but that'd be wrong... and you're fairly sure he'd strike you with lightning next time you saw him.
• Only one Doctor Sword buff can be active at a time.

References

• The name of the item refers to the Master Sword in The Legend of Zelda video games, with a doctorate in addition to a master's degree.
• The description contains a reference to Zelda Fitzgerald.
• The description contains a reference to Dr. Evil's quote "I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called 'mister,' thank you very much" in the movie Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.
• The message when Unending Song activates refers to Milliways, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
• The purchase message refers to the consequences of stealing from the Town Tool shopkeeper in The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening.