Canon Quagmire

Canon Quagmire

You are fighting Canon Quagmire.

Canon was a nomad out in this desert until he stumbled upon a source of massive power which gave him the ability to say absolutely anything and have people believe it. He considered a career in politics before settling on marketing. This mysterious training camp deal is just his weekend gig.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• He grins at you and says, "You want to punch yourself." Oddly enough, you do!
• He vanishes from sight, only to appear behind you where he sucker punches you.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• He grins at you and says, "You want to punch yourself." You give yourself a shot in the arm and feel encouraged.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 150 experience.

You got an item: The Lieforce (Guaranteed Drop)

You take some additional suspicious items from the brute.

• If fought as the Master of Trainees:
  

You got an item: red cape
You got an item: blue choker

• If fought as the Master of Veterans:
  

You got an item: greased bowling shoes
You got an item: pointininis

• If fought as the Head Trainer:
  

You got an item: portable hole
You got an item: donut hole

Known resistances/weaknesses

Immune to sonic damage.

Locations

• Master of Trainees
  
• Master of Veterans
  
• Head Trainer