Ugly mugger

ugly mugger

You are fighting an ugly mugger.

Standing just inside the shadows of an alley you encounter an ugly mugger. By which I mean both that he's got a really unpleasant face, and he's committing the unpleasant crime of trying to mug you.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• The mugger drops a witty line and then shoots both of your parents. No, wait, your parents aren't here so he just shoots you.
• They say that beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone. With that knowledge, can you guess how far this guy's attacks penetrate?
• He hits you with his weapon and takes some of your chips. That's what muggers normally do, right?

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• He says, "Give me your money, I have a gub." The two of you spend the next few minutes arguing over whether he said gun or gub. You decide it would have counted if he had a cold, but since he doesn't then saying gub doesn't mean anything.
• "It's always take, take, take," you shout. "How come you never give back?" Chagrined, he backs off.
• He points a chip at you and demands you hand over all your weapons. Then he realizes what he just said and turns away in embarrassment.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 49-82 chips.

You gain 55 experience.

You got an item: knit cap (21.6 ± 3%)
You got an item: laser pistol (14.2 ± 2.6%)
You got an item: harmonica (17.5 ± 2.8%)

Known resistances/weaknesses

50% resistant to fire damage. 100% weak to psychic damage.

Locations

• The streets of downtown Twilight
  

References

• The first miss message refers to the movie Take the Money and Run.