Catfish lawyer

catfish lawyer

You are fighting a catfish lawyer.

You get the joke here, right? One's a bottom-dwelling, cold-blooded scum sucker and the other's a fish.

Please don't sue me.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:
Unspecified Message

??? hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

He starts hounding you with a bunch of civil infractions, but you distract him with Go Away v. Who Cares.
He tries to browbeat you for interrupting his day, but you offer him a cigar and a glass of scotch and he calms down, blaming his mad cow.
He slaps you with his legal briefs. Luckily, they're just paper so it doesn't hurt.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

Unspecified chip drop

You gain 123 experience.

You got an item: attache case (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: chip loafers (Unspecified Drop rate)

Known resistances/weaknesses

Unspecified