The Bit Player 1
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Wandering around at the front of the house you run across a hunchbacked man wearing a complete mishmash of clothing, his arms laden with goods. He appears to be dressed so that breeches show from underneath a kilt, with one armored boot and one leather riding boot, and three or four shirts on in layers, covered by two cloaks. The hood is pulled up, but he wears a cap underneath. In his arms he carries a sword, a dagger, a staff, a vial of liquid, and several scrolls. You stop and stare at the guy quizzically, too dumbfounded at his unlikely array to do anything else.
The man notices your stare. He stops what he's doing and straightens, shedding all signs of the hunch and somehow going from appearing fairly short to standing surprisingly tall. "You must be new," he says in a light, fanciful tone, flashing a smile. Then his visage grows somber, and he mutters in a deep, heavy tone, "I'm the Bit Player. There's not enough budget to hire actors for all the roles, so I do all the little stuff, and all the roles nobody else wants." Suddenly his eyes grow shifty, and he eyes you suspiciously. "Who are you supposed to be, anyway?" he rasps.
- Bassanio
- Benvolio
- Beowulf
- Desdemona
- Gawaine
- Juliet
- Katherina
- Lady Capulet
- Mercutio
- Oberon
- Othello
- Petruchio
- Portia
- Titania
- Tybalt
- Robin Hood
- Romeo
Options:
- Beowulf, Gawaine, or Robin Hood
- Correct roles
- Incorrect roles
- No role
| State your character |
Results
If you chose Beowulf, Gawaine, or Robin Hood:
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Guessing a Bit
Nearly at a loss, you throw out the first name that you can come up with that might explain your odd garb. The Bit Player sputters at your suggestion. "An outrage! Have you no knowledge of the Bard at all? That's not even a Shakespearean role, you ignorant clod!" The Bit Player proceeds to give his best effort to beating some sense into you.
- When you have already made two such choices:
- As the Bit Player strides off after trouncing you for your third pathetic guess, you realize that he left a can of unopened beverage behind. Must have been too busy slinging your butt all over the place to remember to pick it up afterwards. You play a short and very sweet game of finders keepers.
- You got an item: Scalpel energy drink
You lose Half your Max HP.
If you chose Correct roles:
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Guessing a Bit
Nearly at a loss, you throw out the first name that you can come up with that might explain your odd garb. The bit player smiles and nods, then claps you on the back. "Ah, such a role! One day I should be so lucky to play that part! Until then, lay on Macduff!" Whatever that means, it must be good, because the good-humored Bit Player visibly relaxes, then rushes off to some curtain call alert that you can't seem to detect.
Only after he's gone do you notice he's dropped a piece of parchment.
You got an item: script page 2 
If you chose Incorrect roles:
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Guessing a Bit
Nearly at a loss, you throw out the first name that you can come up with that might explain your odd garb. The Bit Player eyes your costume and frowns. "No, no that is one of my roles! The Capulets are all mine! I shall not relinquish that part, you knave!" He proceeds to forcibly restrain you from attempting to perform the part, and he's none too gentle in the process.
or
Nearly at a loss, you throw out the first name that you can come up with that might explain your odd garb. The Bit Player eyes your costume and frowns. "No, no that is one of my roles! The Montagues are all mine! I shall not relinquish that part, you knave!" He proceeds to forcibly restrain you from attempting to perform the part, and he's none too gentle in the process.
or
Nearly at a loss, you throw out the first name that you can come up with that might explain your odd garb. "Ah, one of the lovers. Such a great romantic part to play." The Bit Player eyes your costume and frowns. "But no, that is one of my roles! I was promised the women this week! I shall not relinquish that part, you knave!" He proceeds to forcibly restrain you from attempting to perform the part, and he's none too gentle in the process.
or
Nearly at a loss, you throw out the first name that you can come up with that might explain your odd garb. "Ah, one of the lovers. Such a great romantic part to play." The Bit Player eyes your costume and frowns. "But no, that is one of my roles! I was promised the men this week! I shall not relinquish that part, you knave!" He proceeds to forcibly restrain you from attempting to perform the part, and he's none too gentle in the process.
You lose Half your Max HP
If you chose No role:
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Guessing a Bit
Nearly at a loss, you throw out the first name that you can come up with that might explain your odd garb. You've already guessed that character once. The Bit Player isn't going to go for it a second time.
Location(s)
Notes
- Occurs only during All the World's a Quest, and All the Men and Women Merely Heroes.
- The correct roles are different from player to player, and retcon to retcon. The pattern is:
- From the seventeen roles, Beowulf, Gawaine, and Robin Hood are always incorrect.
- Of the other fourteen, seven are correct and seven are incorrect.
- Either the Romeo/Benvolio/Mercutio are correct or Juliet/Tybalt/Lady Capulet (Montagues vs. Capulets).
- Either Titania/Desdemona/Katherina/Portia are correct or Oberon/Othello/Petruchio/Bassanio (female roles vs. male roles).
- This results in a total of four possible sets. It is probably impossible to know in advance which set will be correct for each player.
- Becomes a One-time adventure once you get the script page. This also enables The Bit Player 2.
- In total, you get to encounter the same character six more times. You need to get a script page each time to move to the next encounter.
- Each encounter, options you have already chosen in previous encounters are removed from the list of available options.
References
- Romeo, Benvolio, Mercutio, Juliet, Tybalt, and Lady Capulet are all characters in William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
- Titania and Oberon are characters in William Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream.
- Desdemona and Othelo are characters in William Shakespeare's Othello.
- Katherina and Petruchio are characters in William Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew.
- Portia and Bassanio are characters in William Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice.
- "Lay on, Macduff" is a line from William Shakespeare's Macbeth.
- "You knave" is an insult used several times in William Shakespeare's All's Well that Ends Well.
