Ham banner
ham banner
Plural: Unknown; currently impossible to determine
The biggest problem with this thing is not that it's somehow supposed to be a weapon made out of cloth, though that is a problem. The real issue is that it's just such an unlikely thing to have been produced. The only place you can imagine this coming from is one of those national food product councils that gets together and decides you need to eat more of whatever food they represent. In this case, ham, apparently. Not even pork as a whole, or an array of cured meats from a pig (that bacon lobby can just go to hell, right?), but specifically ham. No pork chops, no pork loin; no shoulder, no ribs, no belly. No pickled pigs' feet. No chitlins, no pork rinds. Just ham.
Even that isn't really so crazy. What's crazy is that they then must have acted on their impulse for self promotion by coming to the conclusion the best way to sell ham is to print up a few hundred thousand flags depicting their chosen meat. And then, just in case not enough people recognized the iconic food, they also went ahead and slapped on a three-letter label, "HAM." Not an actual tagline, mind you, such as "Ham is good food," or "Ham, the strangely pink meat," or even "Well, if you don't have a Snickers, ham is reasonably satisfying, too." No, just "HAM" all by itself.
And somehow this idea must have made it through a creative subcommittee, and a budget oversight committee, and passed a majority vote on the Ham Council of Twilight before actually receiving enough grade-A stamps of approval to be put into operation. But pass it did. And print they did. And put it out in public someone must have, because here it is now, out in the open with you looking at it.
And the really weird thing, the truly, deeply, odd fact of the matter is ... you want one of these ham banners for yourself. And that disturbs you to the core. But nonetheless, you really, really want one.
Melee weapon (Whips and flexible)
Power: 70
Level Required: 6
Item cannot be traded or sold
Item cannot be auto-sold
+10 Melee damage
How Obtained
Given by Ryme to Moderators
Notes
- The idea for this item (a semi-spoonerism of ban hammer) was thought up by neocamp22. After enough bugging, Ryme actually implemented the item. Every moderator receives a Ham Banner after a trial period as a mod, it is not taken away if they step down from the position. Currently, Chineselegolas, Cristiona, Dician, IcyFreak, MagiNinjA, Malk-a-mite, neocamp22, Nommy, Satan, Therum, and Harry Dresden have one.
