Uncommon fool

uncommon fool

You are fighting an uncommon fool.

They say a sucker's born every minute, but a fool of this magnitude is born five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred times less frequently.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

He starts talking and you facepalm so hard you give yourself a concussion.
With a deft flick, he hands you a pack of collectible cards. You crack it open, only to discover it's full of biting snakes. You put the rare snake in your binder and throw the rest away.
He shouts "Release the Kraken!" and tosses a plastic squid at your face. damage+ (sonic) damage

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

He starts talking, but you plug your ears and scream "La la la!"
With a deft flick, he hands you a pack of collectible cards. You crack it open to enjoy the smell of your next paycheck disappearing. Smells like victory!
He shouts "Release the Kraken!" and waits patiently for you to follow his order. You calmly explain if you had a kraken, you wouldn't be fighting him.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain <7*Level, max 300> experience.

You got an item: broomstick (19.1 ± 6.9%)
You got an item: springtime fresh puppet (19.1 ± 6.9%)
You got an item: pure pyrite (19.1 ± 6.9%)
You got an item: Bug Buddy (17.6 ± 6.6%)
You got an item: celestial snarl (19.8 ± 7%)