Ironic bot
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| ironic bot |
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You are fighting an ironic bot.
This is a robot that was supposed to be delivered to a dry-cleaning business. Unfortunately, it was programmed by someone who mis-translated "ironer" as "ironic." As nobody really understands irony, this is one confused bot.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- "I'm gonna iron you!" it shouts in a strangely high-pitched and childish voice. Then it does. damage+ (fire) damage
- The bot irons you, and then irons you some more. Isn't that a little too ironic, don't you think? Yes, I really do think. damage+ (fire) damage
- It squishes you with a fabric press, but it's only rated for light pressure and doesn't hurt. When it releases, though, a metal corner catches and cuts you badly. Figures, huh?
It hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- It presses you with one of its irons, but it turns out to be a cold iron. All it does is smooth out your clothes a little.
- It searches its internal drawers for a knife to stab you with, but all it finds is spoon after spoon after spoon.
- It blasts you with a bunch of scalding steam, but the steam cools before it actually reaches you. The humidity makes your hair go limp--doesn't that figure?
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 33-59 chips.
You gain 43 experience.
You got an item: data plate 
(Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: electronic cabling 
(Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: mangled data plate (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: Inactive strobe drone 
(Unspecified Drop rate)
Known resistances/weaknesses
Unspecified
