Standard instructor

standard instructor

You are fighting a standard instructor.

For varying definitions of "standard". This is the sort of guy that makes drill instructors run for cover. He's loud, he's rude, and he'll make you cry in 1.3 seconds. He'll also give you a beat-down you'll never forget.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

He calls you a maggot and then hauls off and beats you mercilessly.
He stands there screaming at you. You aren't sure what he's saying, but it's loud enough to hear all the way back in Somerset. (sonic) damage
He launches into a profanity-filled tirade insulting you, your family, and the pet dog you had when you were 3. (psychic) damage

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

He calls you a maggot, but forgets to follow through with anything else. Er, okay then.
He stands there screaming at you. I mean, it's loud, but you remembered to wear ear protection, so it's not too bad.
He launches into a profanity-filled tirade, but you know how to play the dozens, and you school this punk. And his mama.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 149 experience.

You got an item: throat lozenges (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: Eskrima book (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: swanky hat (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: crop (Unspecified Drop rate)