Extra-dimensional taffy puller
extra-dimensional taffy puller
Plural: extra-dimensional taffy pullers
I bet you didn't know the multiverse was made of taffy. Well, that's okay, because it isn't. It is, however, made of something very much like taffy, which means you can use this handy little device to fold, spindle, and mutilate reality.
In other words, this weird looking gun-thing will pull your enemies just like you'd pull some fresh, delicious taffy. With or without salt water.
September 2014 Item of the Month
Ranged weapon (Miscellaneous)
Power: 40
Item cannot be auto-sold
Item cannot be worn in runs with a 'no pulls' restriction
+1 extra ranged attack(s) per turn.
2% chance to stun opponents
+3% of weapon damage returned as HP
Stretch your opponents like taffy
How Obtained
- Available for 10 silver stars during September 2014
- Available for 10 silver stars during September 2014
During combat, grants exclusive Openings:
- Start Pulling will cover your opponent in delicious taffy, making them easier to hit, but also sticky enough to pull the images right off the comics page. (1st round of all fights)
- You start pulling the space-time around <foe> like taffy, covering him in... well, space-time taffy and sticking him in place. It's probably all the gluons. (Foe becomes taffied)
- Keep Pulling until nothing is left but taffy... fresh, delicious taffy. (If the foe is taffied)
- You pull on <foe> and pull and pull, until there's nothing left but taffy. Hmmmm.
- You got an item: fresh space-time taffy
- or, when used against a boss:
- You pull on <boss> and pull and pull, but can't find any sweetness to make into taffy. In other words, <boss> is a jerk.
The combat messages are the following:
Hit
- you wrap the <foe> in taffy and fling it around x times for X damage; Sir Paunch would be proud!
- your puller spins up to higher speeds than normal and pulls all sorts of things down onto the <foe> instead of just taffy... x different things, which hurt for X damage, in fact.
- with a deft flick of the wrist, you pull <foe> in x different directions at once, making him yelp in X different languages.
- you fire your puller into the cosmos and yank down x blobs of taffy, pelting <foe> for X damage.
- having had enough sass from <foe>, you muffle him with x globs of taffy for X damage.
Miss
- you fling taffy everywhere, which is good for stretching taffy, but useless for stretching bad guys.
- your puller spins up to higher speeds than normal, which means it doesn't function right. More power isn't always a good thing, Tim.
- with a deft flick of your wrist, you fling your puller at the <foe>. That's not how that works.
- you fire your puller out into the cosmos. Sagan and Tyson are going to be annoyed at you for that.
- having had enough sass from the <foe>, you try to mute it with taffy, but you left your mute button on your other extra-dimensional taffy puller.
Fumble
- Fumble! You try to bind up your foe, but somehow switch places and get taffied up instead. Perhaps the X damage you took will teach you not to mess with confections man was not meant to understand.
Critical
- you shoot out a leash of taffy and wrap it around the <foe> and start slamming (him/her/it/them) back and forth over your head. You critically Droopy Dog your opponent x times for X damage!
Notes
- When bought: The shopkeeper demonstrates how to stretch your 10 silver stars into taffy, then hands you the puller.
- No experience, chips, or items are received when pulling a foe into taffy.
References
- The Start Pulling opening contains a reference to one of the uses of Silly Putty.
- The second miss message refers to the many episodes of Home Improvement in which Tim Allen's search for tools with "More power!" ended in disaster.
- The fourth miss message refers to Carl Sagan and Neil deGrasse Tyson, two astrophysicists who have hosted Cosmos: A Personal Voyage and Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey respectively.
- The critical hit message refers to the many times Droopy Dog has beaten up his enemies when sufficiently angered.
| Item of the Month | ||
|---|---|---|
| Preceded by Virtual Lad's goggles |
September 2014 extra-dimensional taffy puller |
Succeeded by Phobonomicon |
