Maleroom clerk

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Maleroom-clerk.jpg
maleroom clerk

You are fighting a maleroom clerk.

This is a weird building. You're not exactly sure what a maleroom is, or why it needs a clerk, but there's one standing right in front of you, ready to start a fight.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

  • He opens up his can of Manly Man Energy Drink and throws it in your face. What's in that stuff? It burns! (acid) damage
  • He rips open his shirt to show off his manly pecs. Sadly, his body isn't by Jake; it's by cake. (psychic) damage
  • He throws his head back and lets out a testosterone-fueled bellow. Cripes, he's loud. (sonic) damage



He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.



Miss messages:

  • He digs around for a can of Manly Man Energy Drink, but all he finds is a pocket protector.
  • He tries to rip open his shirt to show off his manly pecs, but he just sorta spins around uselessly.
  • He throws his head back and lets out a testosterone-fueled bellow. It sounds more like a nasally whine.



Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.


Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!


Chips-white.gif You gain 87-143 chips.

You gain 115 experience.

You got an item: Manly Man energy drink Manly-man.gif (13.9 ± 2.6%)
You got an item: taped glasses Taped-glasses.gif (16.7 ± 2.8%)
You got an item: paper cut gloves Paper-cut-gloves.gif (15.1 ± 2.7%)






Known resistances/weaknesses

Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.


Locations

References

  • The second hit message references "Body by Jake" fitness products marketed by Jake Steinfeld.