Category:Small Bashing Weapons

Small Bashing Weapons use the following messages:

Hit Messages

• you hit the low road and I'll hit the high, but you'll deal X damage before me.
• drop the beat. Be the beat. Eat the beat. Beat the beat. X damage. Love the beat.
• brutally bashing, you bludgeon beautifully, bequeathing bruises and broken bones; blasting and beating for X bamage. Er, damage.
• there aren't many adjectives to describe a vicious beating, and I'm only offering "brutal" and "painful." While you think it over, your opponent takes X damage.
• for such a simple weapon, your <weapon> can sure make a mess. You pummel your opponent for X damage.

Miss Messages

• you take a swing at your opponent, but they dodge out of the way, making you look a little foolish.
• you miss. You know, these things work a lot better when you actually connect. Just a tip.
• wailing and whimpering, you weakly whiff, wheeling and wobbling. Whining (and whinging) like a wuss.
• despite all your rage, you're still just a rat in a cage. In that, you know, you can't hurt anyone. I'll have a better analogy for the next time you fail miserably, I promise.
• there! Hit them there! No! Not there, there! Oh, never mind. You missed your chance. And your opponent.

Fumble Message

Fumble! Even with the most basic weapon in the world, you manage to totally screw it all up. You might not die from embarrassment, but you'll certainly take X damage.

Critical Hit Message

you get all up in their grill and give them a beatdown so serious that Mr. Serious will be all like, "Dang!" What I'm trying to say here is that you had a critical hit for X damage.

References

• The first hit message refers to the song The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond.
• The fourth miss message references the song Bullet with Butterfly Wings.