Highly implausible script

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Item Number: 755
Description ID: 4031710
(view in-game)


highly implausible script
Plural: highly implausible scripts
This tattered and faded script tells the story of a headstrong young idealist, a jaded smuggler, and a superstitious old man as they fight against a creepy and violent dictator who has hidden ties to the young man, the old man, and the woman who the young man and the smuggler are vying for.

Most of the names are barely pronounceable, let alone spellable, and the whole plot hinges on some mystical theory that the dead can speak and "not aiming" is the secret to being a good sharpshooter. All in all, highly implausible. You can't see anyone going for this.

This item is consumed when used.

May 2009 Item of the Month

Miscellaneous Item
Item cannot be auto-sold

Gives your sidekick understudy a new skill.

How Obtained

The Wok of Stars

When Used

First time:
You understudy flips through the script, then goes back and reads more slowly. "I see it now! At first glance you think the young man is the protagonist, but really he's just a foil for the smuggler. Aging, deeply in debt, running out of options, facing perhaps one last chance at love and in competition with a younger man, trapped in a fight that's not his own, that's what the story is really about." The sidekick goes over and over the script until the grumpy old smuggler role is mastered.

Subsequent times:
Your understudy doesn't want to go through that ridiculous script again. Once was more than enough.

During the Cat and Mick-y Mouse Game quest:
Your kidnapped sidekick isn't available for training right now. The whole being kidnapped thing, you know.


  • Item is not used up on subsequent tries to use it.
  • This item can be used before full-time sidekicks are available. However, the sidekick itself is not usable until full-time sidekicks become available.


Item of the Month
Preceded by
prismatic sports bra
May 2009
highly implausible script
Succeeded by
Hobbes' nail boots
Mummers' gloves