Difference between revisions of "Instant goats"

Revision as of 10:59, 2 September 2013

instant goats
Plural: boxes of instant goats
Remember when you were a kid reading comic books and you noticed those ads in the back where you could send in a nickel (or a dime or a buck or whatever) and get some neato-keen thing like fake doggie doo or snapping gum? Not being a dummy, you knew that page was full of junk; just like that one where you hocked garbage for Captain Superguy or whatever his name was. But do you remember that other ad? You know the one. The one that lets you build an underwater civilization. They looked right out of the fifties. I think the dad even had a pipe somehow.

We both know how that turned out.

But this... this is something different. This isn't some magical underwater people-thing grower. This is a box of goats. You know what goats are. Goats are awesome. For just ten measly little stars, you could have your very own (teeny-tiny) box of instant goats. Just add water! And look at that guarantee: "We guarantee that these aren't, like, sponge goats, or brine shrimp, or anything stupid like that." Solid.

July 2013 Item of the Month

Miscellaneous Item
Item cannot be auto-sold
Usable
Item cannot be worn in runs with a 'no pulls' restriction

• When used, installs goats as a permanent fixture in your hideout.
• Goats convert old items into new, usable items through the amazing process of... eating them and growing hair mostly.
• Goats cannot be removed from your hideout once they move in.
• Goats aren't available in no-pull runs

The Wok of Stars

• Available for 10 silver stars during July of 2013.
  

If you don't have one installed:

You sprinkle some water on the goats and watch them quickly grow to full size. Casting about for somewhere to put them, you accidentally splash some water on the box they came in, causing it to grow to full size.

Ingenious!

If you have one installed:

You already have one family of goats to feed. There's no way you're finding enough tin cans for two.

Enables the Box of Goats in your Workbench

Notes

• When bought: The shopkeeper mails in your silver stars for you and waits patiently for your dehydrated goats to arrive in the mail.

References

• The description contains a reference to the brine shrimp that were advertised as Sea-Monkeys in comic cooks.