Receptionist

receptionist

You are fighting a receptionist.

Like most receptionists, this one is always horribly overworked and underpaid: she's answering a phone, signing for a package, doing something on her computer, and getting a visitor's badge ready for a vendor. Oh, and she's also packing heat.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

She gives you a level gaze and tells you about her job. Boring doesn't begin to describe her monologue. (psychic) damage
She demands that you sign in. When you do, you learn that she gave you one of those shocker pens. (electric) damage
She levels her sidearm at you and plugs you.

She hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! She hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

She gives you a level gaze and tells you about her job. You counter with stories about your own mind-numbing job.
She demands that you sign in. You pull out a pen of your own and do so.
She levels her sidearm at you, but you convince her that you have an appointment.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! She takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 87-148 chips.

You gain 115 experience.

You got an item: shocker pen (13.3 ± 2.6%)
You got an item: relaxing flats (15.6 ± 2.7%)
You got an item: nail file (14 ± 2.6%)
You got an item: bubble gum (15.1 ± 2.7%)