Killer printer

killer printer

You are fighting a killer printer.

The bane of the office worker. This brutal printer has gone beyond refusing to print your critical cover sheets and reports, it's actively hunting down workers to torment.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:
Unspecified Message

It hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

It starts printing some reports. Huh. Guess it started working right.
You'd think it needs to be plugged in and you'd be right. You wisely refuse to plug it back in.
It blinks "PC LOAD LETTER". You add paper.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain some chips.

Unspecified XP

You got an item: power converter (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: mangled data plate (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: titanium plating (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: electronic cabling (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: nanoprocessor (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: titanium chassis (Unspecified Drop rate)