General Farming

Introduction

So. If you've been farming for 2 years, are getting a hundred chips a day, and know everything there is to know about farming, then you're probably lying. But whatever the case may be, if you're an experienced farmer, you're not likely to find a lot of new information here. In fact, you might find a bunch of completely false information. This guide is not for you. However, this is a wiki, so feel free to edit it. This guide IS for

• Players who have been playing for a while and are interested in getting into farming
• Players have been farming for a little while, and want to improve their income
• Players who have the supernatural ability to bear my writing style

So let's get started then.

Locations

Golden Wooden Nickel Casino

• Good for low level players, Jackpot! gives a good sum of chips. But that's not what we're here for, now is it?

Cube Theater

• Good for mid-level players, high droprate of autosell-able items, good chip drops

Castle Hundenswein

• Now THIS is true farming. High chip drops, items autosell for crazy amounts of chips, and a couple items have great recipes for farming. This is however a very hard area to survive- spending hundreds of turns here isn't realistic unless you're at least level 20.

Non-Combats

The Cube

• The optimal farming technique regarding noncombats in the Cube is a mixture of exiting stage right and left, using left just enough to maintain a vigilante reputation so you can use the Publicist, in conjunction with the judo kid gloves. Now, where you draw the line is up to you, but if you want to be REALLY optimal the best strategy is to use your turns just right such that at the end of the day you are a vigilante so you can get your Publicist for the day, and then allowing your reputation to drift to the right while exiting stage right and getting the chips.

Castle Hundenswein

• There are two noncombats here. One of them (Behind door number three...) doesn't really give anything interesting. The last option is to skip it, not costing a turn. Do that one.
• The other is Forgot to Mention the Crystal Skulls, in which the second choice yields some delicious Lustrous liquid. You'll want that for one of the recipes.

Equipment

Neither +%chips or +%items are optimal alone- the best is a combination of the two. That being said, in most equipment slots there is an obvious superior for either one. For instance, the only pair of boots that has either is Roderick's Boots, so you'll be using those, which are +10% chips.

• Next, your helmet. The only helmet that increases item or chip drops is the Royal crown, which increases chip drops by 5%. But it is believed that The Virtual Reality helmet is better for farming overall. Whether or not the “Improved Computer Interaction” gets you more chips when used with the software Financial Prudence and Prepunctuality is questionable (I don't have one to be honest, feel free to edit this if you've found out either way), but the bonus stats and XP are enough to sway most players who have one. If you don't, I hope you can still sleep at night knowing that your crown is probably just as good maybe.

• (I'll be using X to indicate bow, end, or arm)

For your weapon, you'll want to use a LongX of the Law (see how this is working here?), which grants +5% chips. The other option would be a Short X of the stick, which is only 3% item drops.

• The best shirt you can use is the Letter shirt, which shaves 15 seconds off of every turn, which will end up giving you a solid 7 turns or so extra a day. It doesn't increase item or chip drops, but the only shirt that does is the harness, which is a measly 2% items. Plus, a theater is one of the worst places to be walking around in wearing a harness.

• Your gloves are gonna be sticky gloves. They're the only ones that give +%items or chips. Easy.

• Pants are kinda funky. There are no +%items or chips pants currently in the game. Technically. But I remind you we're talking about Super Ultimate Optimization to the Point that it's Just Ridiculous. This is by no means a good reason to go spending a bunch of stars on them, but if you're absolutely crippled by OCD the Amazing Technicolor Dreampants will occasionally give you an almost negligible amount of +%items. If you have them, you're probably already wearing them though.

• For you boots, you'll want to use Roderick's. I explained why a few paragraphs up.

• There are two perfectly viable offhand items for farming. The plastiscanner gives +10% chip drops, and the isotope meter gives +10% item drops. The decision is made more easily, however, when you note the fact that most of the time you'll have +40% item drops from your accessories, so you need all the chips you can get. Go with the plastiscanner.

• There are two IotM accessories that are extremely good for farming- the Hero's Cape and Wolley's Index. And in the days of old, this was all a hero needed to go off gallivanting and merrily collecting chips at the Cube Theater. But then Ryme made the Judo Kid Gloves. So now, your first 30 turns or so should be spent with the Judo Kid Gloves, while you have your Publicist. That's the fun part- when you get those 700 chip drops that are so pleasing to any true farmer's eye. But then comes the not fun part, when you have to start thinking about getting other sidekicks. If you have a spare Couch lying around, feel free to use crows and Mafia informers. Other than that, there are two sidekicks you can get from recipes in the Castle. Both are believed at the moment to increase item drops (though it's not likely they both do. Once it's properly spaded this should be edited). If you play your cards right, you'll have a farming sidekick essentially 100% of the time, making the Judo Gloves pretty sexy.

• Personally, I use the Ultimate Aviator Goggles for my talisman. They're (relatively) cheap, and they (probably) have a net increase on your chips-per-day. They also provide two other benefits; one of which is they just look kinda cool in your profile, and the second only applies to Psions. More on that later.

• Your transportation should be, naturally, the VHF-1 Fighter. Why is this? Well, first off it's an Item of the Month so it's just about guaranteed to be the best in most situations. But more specifically, it gives you 2 to 4 PP every turn (The Lexura Infinides D-8 also grants 2 PP a turn and is just about as useful). Why is this good? Well it only is to Psions. If not, use a moped for all I care. If you are, more on that... right now.

Class

Yes, that's right. Not all heroes are created equal. For farming, it is the unfortunate fact that Psions are by far the best class for farming. They are overpowered, imbalanced, and all-around jerks to compete with when it comes to chips. This is actually for more than 2 to reasons.

• Psions get a passive skill at level 10 that gives them 30 extra minutes per day. Yeah. Seriously. This means that at 500 chips per turn, you get about 3500 chips more than the other classes PER DAY.
• Psions have a skill (not a buff. Sorry other classes) which gives them +25% chips. That's a lot. If you didn't know.
• This one's a bit of a stretch, but you know. SUOttPtiJR. If you have Ultimate Aviator Goggles and a VHF-1 (or a Lexura, for those of us who don't have chips pouring out of our pockets), you'll be getting 4-6 PP a turn. How, do you ask, can you turn these points into chips? Well, this is just between you and me, but... buffs. That's right. For every 12 PP, you can send a warrior hologram to a friend, who sends it back to you for a total profit of 5 chips. That's what we in the business call living large. Oh, and on a side note, it may seem like a good idea to just use a multi to exchange holograms back and forth with, but it's probably not. And on another side note, Naturalists can do this as well, just with a much lower PP-to-chips return.

Okay, so there's still only 3, and I'll admit the last one isn't the most imbalancing factor in the world. I'm trying my best here.

Caffeine and Sugar

Here's some good news. Because you're buying food to make chips, not spend them, you can stick with vendor stuff and drops and still be optimal. Yup, Mister Teas and Stroopwafels. The stroopwafels drop at the Castle, and Mister Teas should be bought en masse when they're at the Black Market. If you're not at the Castle, use eyeball gumballs.

Buffs

• Aura: Keen Observation. This is an obvious one.
• The Naturalist buff, Snout of the Swine. Also obvious.
• Metal Detector, from a Gadgeteer. Also also obvious.
• Sinus of the Shark. Also also al- Wait, what? Yes. Sinus of the Shark reduces your rate of noncombat adventures. At the Cube Theater, you'll want to use this. However, at the Castle I've found that your unchanged combat rate actually works out pretty well, giving you a 1:1 proportion of Lustrous liquid and Golden powder. Use this if you find it's imbalanced one way or the other.

Recipes

There are three recipes that will come in handy for farming in the Castle. The first two are sidekicks. The Clockwork ant, which increases chip drops, is created by combining a Clockwork core and an Irrhodium socket set. The other is the Clockwork kangaroo, which increases item drops, and is created by combining a Clockwork core and a Xentrium crossbow. The third is the Philtre of fortune, created by combining Lustrous Liquid and Golden Powder. You should be able to make enough of these while patrolling to maintain the effect constantly, giving you 25% chip drops. Sexy!