Merit Badges

All merit badges are gained by satisfying some requirement, and then visiting the Heroes' Guild.

Badge	Image	Image name	Requirement
Heroic Recycler		reduce-and-reuse-first	Transmogrifying 20 times
From Dusk 'Til Dawn		sun-go-up-sun-go-down	Patrol until 6:30 AM
Crystal Collector		mmm-thats-good-cosmic-karma	Collect 333 cosmic crystals
Coffee Snob		nothing-but-kopi-luwak	Drink 72 fancy lattes
Joltin' Joe Sombrero		left-and-gone-away	Use 56 baseball bats
Pinball Wizard		getafirstlife-dot-com	Level each game in the Virtual Reality Gaming Center to bracket 10
Delayed Gratification		twice-as-nice	Level up twice in a row without leaving the Heroes' Guild
			"Impossible" Badge
Talk About an Old Timer		you-alpha-believe-it	Be an alpha tester (no longer obtainable)
Really Out to Sea		think-im-a-banana-tree	Have exactly 51 playing cards in your inventory
Tremors Are My Friend		seismic-raspberry	Collect 500 S.U.I.T. points
Two Bits Times Two		golden-oldie	Reach level 50
Lazy Boy and the Recliner		i-am-sofa-king	Rest more than 210 minutes in one day
I Have a Bridge to Sell You		think-this-badge-is-about-you	Donate for 11 straight days to the Snowflake Leader Board
The Badge of the Wicked		wheeeh-weeeeh-weeeeh	Wear Droog costume with Moped
Brontosaurus Bully‎		dinosaur-in-a-haystack	Collect 200 red claws and 200 red teeth
Where's the party?		what-no-cake	Having at least 1200 minutes of Mechapinata!!
National Lampoons		some-town-in-maryland	Choose "Exit stage center" in the non-combat Intermission a total of 20 times
Quite the Bulldozer		six-half-tons-and-what-do-you-get	Remove 6000 pounds of rock from the rubble field (no longer obtainable)
			Currently Unknown
Month of Mayhem		thirty-days-hath-september	Play at least 29 days (4w 1d) of in-game time
Skin of the Teeth		those-are-razor-thin-margins	Win five fights with 1 HP left at the end
More than One Way to Hunt a Bounty		quicker-picker-upper	Have 50 or more damage absorption
Whirlwind Tour		around-and-around-it-goes	Complete a run in ≤ 32hrs.
Emperor's New Badge		clear	Be invisibly-equipped
That Old Trope Again?		one-man-cannot-summon-the-future	Fight your evil twin 20 times
Grandmaster of Retcon		you-say-checkmate-i-say-checkmate	Have a full chess set (king, queen, 2 knights, 2 bishops, 2 rooks, 8 pawns) in your Memento Display
Sybil		i-gotta-reputation-lots-of-them	Have each Reputation at least once in your Retcon history
Rogue Ranch Repeated Redux		once-twice-four-times-a-hero	Create a Quizzically Quivering Quadraphonic Quad-Quadrant
This Lousy Badge		you-omicron-believe-it	Be a beta tester (no longer obtainable)
Mettle Gear Solid		i-always-die-on-the-first-screen	Have a Supersolid mettle medal equipped
The White Badge		elephant-in-my-pajamas	Defeat 20 evil velour elephants (no longer obtainable)
Evil Moustache		this-cant-possibly-be-good	Have all Static Villains and Wandering Villains item drops in your Memento Display.
Give 'em a Hand		golf-clap-for-heroes-at-work	Trade in 15 the other other hand
+1000 Points		thousand-points-for-Ravenclaw	???
Four, Four, Four, Four Heroes in One		sixtyeightdude	Perm all class skills
Talismaniac		horribleblackvoid	Complete five retcons with five different non-class Talismans equipped
Utility Badge		obviousborgjoke.	Have Somber's Fedora, Ever-Dim Halter, Shade's Cargo Pants, Dusk's Baton, and the Futility Belt equipped
The Most Interesting Badge in the World		stayfrostymyfriends	Complete an heirloom run inheriting the most interesting item in the world and then start another run
Ionic Science		likeanionstormonyourweddingday	Having Ionic Bondage skill permed and with 10 skill points invested.
Candy Sovereign		trickertreatersoldierspy	Having the Brick Intestine, Hungry like the Wolf Pup, It's Placebo Effective!, and Spitting Lightning effects active.
Ice Cubed		tothethirdpower	Complete three heirloom retcons inheriting the novelty ice cube tray
When Life Gives you pollution	dontgiveahoot.gif	dontgiveahoot	Complete an heirloom run with the polluted charm equipped throughout and then start another run
XXIIIrd Time's a Charm		tisbutxxiiiscratches	Defeat 23 stabbing stagehand
Knight of the Old Stuff		forgeandthefold	???
This Badge is so Meta		Iheardyoulikebadges	???
Aspiring Luddite	File:Itjustneededpaper.jpg	itjustneededpaper	Defeat 500 (?) killer printers
Enter Initials		3,333,360	Score higher than 90,000 points in a Too Hard retcon
Amateur Vulcanologist		thewatersfine	Fighting a lava + racing opponent during a Too Hard retcon?
The Soul Gazes Back		thirdactor	Facing Sophocles having the Sophocle's bifocles equipped.
Cyberpsychologist		zomszomsinthedeep	Perm all 8 of the skills from bosses in Shiloh Sanatarium sub-zones
Christmas Classics		kingofchristmastown	Complete an Heirloom Retcon inheriting a Christmas gift?
Eternal Grit		falsedarkness	Defeat a recurring villain a hundred times?
Dashing Hat Trick		hunttheburninator	Complete Hero Dash 3 times.
Now a Word From Our Sponsors	File:Vhf4life.jpg	vhf4life	Unlock 13 sponsor options from the cape of sponsorship